Guess what ? Biopsy Day 2011 !! Like Boxing Day, but with less pain !

Twas the night before Biopsy, when all through the lodge
every inmate was stirring from the alarm on the Dodge.

The stockings were tossed to the bedside floor dregs, 
they had caused quite a swelling the the dry lower legs.

Patients were nestled, not snug in their beds, as they
argued over snoring, and temperature, and who would
shower first, or who would just hog the bathroom and 
be an all around jerk to the other person. 

But, that is another story, and someone elses problem, because I am rooming with my Mom, who is no where near as bad of a jerk as some of my other room mates, and more importantly, it's Monday the 17th, and besides being my Step Fathers's Birthday, it's

HAPPY BIOPSY DAY !

I hope you all had a great Biopsy Day !

Sonja failed to get her paperwork in, so once again, it was just me getting a biopsy this time around.  Mom mumbled something about being too old for the biopsy.  There was this other guy there getting one, and he was like, I don't know, 90 ?  At least that's what he looked like.  He was mumbling something about only being 25, and me being a jerk or something - I can't remember, I was all aglow with Biopsy day excitement.

I wasn't sure if there would be enough excitement and sensation this time around now that I have had the experience of having decent sized garden hose shoved up and in my pecker.  With the nozzle.

It provided pain perspective, and that threatened to destroy a perfectly good level of fear, anxiety, and anticipation that is the halmark of good biopsy days.

Fortunately I still have fresh in my memory Dr. Bacon's 'SAW''esque biopsy so everything was ok.

Dr. Mary came in pretending to be all forgetful about our previous special biopsy day encounters.  She wanted to be sure that I was ok with her doing the biospy again this time, and couldn't remember how the experience was before.  I think she was just nervous because Sonja wasn't there this time, so it would just be her and I.  Well, the lab tech would be there, but she is more of a Pee Wee Herman kinda observer for the whole adventure.  I thought the popcorn was a bit much.

Mom certainly wasn't sticking around.  She is from Nova Scotia, and they don't hold with this kind of craziness around those parts.  Their Biopsies are done 40 years ago in the Sternum, with big glass syringes, and plenty of sterile lighting and hospital costumes.  You're supposed to be a cadaver too.  She went to the TV room to read the newspaper.

I decided to go a bit Hunter S. Thompson for this trip, so I self medicated myself with some left over willy morphine well before the Biopsy, and that worked out very well.  I had some Adavan just before the procedure as well.

Dr.  Mary hit me with the freezing.  Very nice.  Just a little bee sting.  All the way down to the bone.  And around.

As expected Dr. Mary went nice and slow.  I was allowed to savor the aspirate withdraw.  Not too fast to be pass out painful (like Dr. 'SAW' Bacon), but not too slow to be unfeeling.

For the bone sample, Dr. Mary commented on how it was like cutting into steel.  She always knows what to say.  She had to take a break near the end to catch her breath.  She was back at it, and too soon, it was all over.  The samples were good, and my Biopsy day was over.

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All joking aside, it went pretty well, as far as biopsies go.  The samples were good, and along with the biopsy they took about 24 vials of blood (literally) for various Day 100 tests (day 100 is around Feb 1st).

Why so early ?  I've been told that sometimes they just do it early.
I feel they are concerned about the low platelets, and can't explain it.

That has me worried.